June 01, Passport 2000 Newsletter Vol. 2. Number
6
Contents
-
Editorial
-
Letters
to the Publisher
-
For Sale
Section
-
The
Phoenix News Network presents --- Ask Anne Marie - The
Affirmation Column
-
Wrap
of the Phoenix Radio Show - Completion of the Phoenix Radio
Show
-
That
Perfect, Lasting, Happy Relationship - Interviews by the
Publisher
-
Short Story
Section
-
Reflections
on Marriage - Caroline Ryker
-
Ask Caroline
-
Affirmation
for June
-
Free Book Draw
-
Contract
& Legal
I love hearing from you. Please keep writing. I
also invite any new members to send their letters, comments and
e-mails to the Publisher, Anne Marie Evers.
I received a telephone call from a young lady,
Marie. She told me how she had purchased my book (Affirmations,
Your Passport to Happiness) one year ago and began doing
affirmations in the manner I set out in the book.
She was so surprised and excited when three of her
major affirmations came true. She had affirmed for a new
relationship, a new home and a rewarding, successful career.
Within three months of doing the Personal Contract Affirmation
Method, she had manifested all three of them.
The Personal Contract Affirmation Method is
described in my book on Affirmations, This method is based on four
cornerstones. They are (a) Forgiveness (b) Thoughts and Mind Power
(c) Affirmations and (d) Creative Visualization. Your Master
Affirmation is dated and signed so it then becomes a valid,
binding contract with your Higher Self, God or Universal Mind.
Even a check is worthless unless it is both signed and dated!
She did her Master Affirmations and also the Short
Form Affirmations faithfully and diligently for those three
months.
She thought she was all set and her work was done.
When she called me in an absolute panic, all three were in limbo.
Her young man whom she moved in with was also her employer. Due to
economic conditions, he had no choice but to lay her off. She was
devastated and took it as a rejection of his love for her. Also if
she broke up with him, she would be faced with losing her
relationship, her career and her home.
We spoke about it and it became abundantly clear
that when we do affirmations to secure something, we MUST continue
to do them to keep that situation. It is easier to climb a
mountain than it is to stay there. It is easier to drop weight
than it is to maintain the weight dropped.
She has now gone back to the Affirmation Drawing
Board and is again doing the Personal Contract Affirmation Method.
This was two weeks ago. Today, yes, today, she
called and said that one of her affirmations had already worked.
She had been offered a wonderful position with another company and
her significant other, Tom was encouraging her to take it.
How will it turn out? At this point we don’t
know, but what we do know is that Marie has again taken control of
her life. I suggested that she take a picture of her and Tom place
it at the top of a page of pink paper and write the following
affirmation under it. This would become one of her Master
Affirmations. I also chose the colour pink because it is the
colour of love.
"Tom and I deserve and now are happy. We
enjoy a loving, lasting, healthy, happy relationship to the good
of all parties concerned. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you."
I will keep you posted on Marie’s progress. She
was so excited and said, "Thank you, Anne Marie for putting
me back on track, I am so grateful."
I said, "Thank you, Marie for those kind
words, but thank yourself. You put yourself back on track. I was
the one that gave you the gentle nudge and the tools to do
it."
Is there someone out there that you can gently
nudge to take control of his or her life?
The process of doing affirmations in the Personal
Contract Affirmation Method is the way.
Remember as I say in my book - Affirmations When
Properly Done Always Work!
The Publisher,
Anne Marie Evers
Update Letter:
Dear Anne Marie:
Well here we are again. Just wanted to let you
know that our Affirmation Point Game is spreading to all our
family and friends. Now when we are invited out for dinner, the
first question we are asked, "Are we going to play that Point
Game?"
Actually it has brought our group much closer now
that we understand each other better. It is very interesting that
a such a small ripple can create such a fantastic wave! We never
thought when we started this Affirmation Point Game (the ripple)
that it would take off so fast. We’ll keep you updated.
P.S. Gossiping and back-biting are now a thing of
the past with our group! Thank you for writing your book on
affirmations. Suzie, Jan & Sylvia, Australia
Dear Suzi, Jan & Sylvia
Thank you so much for the update and please keep
me posted. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if thousands and thousands
of people would play this positive game?
Thank you for promoting my book on Affirmations in
Australia! I look forward to your notes, letters and e-mails. Love
Anne Marie
Dear Anne Marie:
I had always dreamed that I could fly
I didn’t know when and I didn’t know why
Many times through life, I have crawled
Feeling alone, ashamed, afraid and appalled
My heart and soul cried out for more
I needed a key to open the door
As if you heard my heart’s plea
Anne Marie, there you were on T.V.
Smiling and sharing your wisdom of life
Helping me ease the sorrows and strife
Showing me how to really live,
Through the power of thinking positive
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you,
Lynda, Port Coquitlam
Dear Lynda:
What a wonderful poem. I am so honored. Thank you
from the bottom of my heart. Love Anne Marie
P.S. Just keep on thinking positive!
Medallions For Sale
A.A. Medallions to groups and individuals. No
minimum order required and the order is shipped the same day.
Master Card, Money Order or Certified Check accepted. Bronze, gold
and silver -- years l-50 Aluminum -- months 1-11
Fax or phone orders to (604) 944-8344 or e-mail to
dbritt@uniserve.com
Re-printed with permission from Nicole M. Whitney,
Publisher of Solution Oriented News, The Phoenix North Shore
Edition June, 2000.
"The Phoenix News Nertwork" presents Ask
Anne Marie - The Affirmation Column by Anne Marie Evers
Dear Anne Marie
I am experiencing difficulty. I go through the
motions of doing affirmations, but how can I get to the point of
belief and expectation? My mind seems to be stuck in a negative
place. Please help .Thank you, Anne Marie. Thomas
Dear Thomas:
Thank you for your very important question. This
is exactly why it is so important to do the forgiving exercises
before you start any Affirmation Program. The Personal Contract
Affirmation Method is based on four cornerstones: (a) forgiveness
(b) thoughts and mind power (c) affirmations and (d) creative
visualization.
As I have said in this column the process of doing
Affirmations is similar to the planting, growing and reaping
process. The first and most important step is to forgive. This
very act of forgiving is the method of preparing the soil of your
rich, fertile subconscious mind. The second step is to decide,
select and plant the desired seed. This is accomplished when you
write out your Master Affirmation. The third step is the watering
and fertilizing process. This is accomplished by taking out your
Master Affirmation and reading it over every morning and evening.
The fourth and final step is to step ahead two or three weeks or
months and creatively visualize the end result. This process is
more effective when you bring in the five physical senses.
Remember, you already have that desired result,
you have just not experienced it yet!
Thomas, when you follow the above Preparing,
Sowing, Growing and Reaping Process, your mind will automatically
become unstuck and move into the place of positivity and you will
then realize the end result of your affirmations. Oh yes, please
be certain to say Thank you three times as more gathers more.
Happy Affirming! Anne Marie
Dear Anne Marie:
I love your book on Affirmations and read your
column regularly. I believe this is the most useful book I have
ever bought for myself. Many of the methods you teach in your
power work wonderfully for me, but at times when I affirm
something, the opposite occurs.
For example: I work in a store and when I say to
my fellow-workers, "It is not busy today," suddenly the
shop fills up with customers before I finish speaking. Can you
clarify this? Jane
Dear Jane:
I am pleased to hear you are getting results from
methods taught in my book and my column.
To answer your question, it would be helpful to
know what was being discussed just before you said to your friends
"It is not busy today."
Was it just an idle comment or were you hoping
that it was going to be a busy day? What was your intent? If your
conversation was focusing around, "We are just standing
around, we need more business, or how can we keep our jobs if
there are no customers, or if you just made the remark makes a
definite difference on the outcome or manifestation.
Affirmations certainly need to be formulated in a
specific, structured way. For example, should you do an
Affirmation saying "Fifteen people come into our store now,
it could work that fifteen people come into the store but never
purchase any merchandise. It would be better to say, "We
deserve and now have in excess of fifteen paying customers."
There is a definite process to follow when doing
your Affirmations. I suggest that every Affirmation contains the
safety clause, ‘To the good of all parties concerned.’
On one occasion when I was doing a Book Signing
Event in a local book store, five of us decided to do an
affirmation to bring more people into the store. Our affirmation
said, "Twenty-five people now come into our store."
Actually twenty-seven people came stomping through the store and
only one small item was sold. We were stunned. We then changed our
affirmation to say, "Twenty-five paying customers now come
into our store and were pleased when the affirmation manifested
with twenty-six paying customers! Please word your Affirmations
carefully. Anne Marie
Remember, Affirmations When Properly Done
Always Work!
Our Radio Show, "Your Passport to
Happiness" completed its last show in the series. If you wish
this show to continue, please contact us. The Hosts were yours
truly, Anne Marie Evers, author, columnist, speaker and On-line
Publisher and Sandi Capobianco, Writer, Editor, Consultant and
Manager.
The call letters of that station are KFNX Phoenix,
Arizona
During that fourteen week period, we had the
pleasure of meeting and interviewing many interesting and varied
guests.
In each of our Passport 2000 Newsletter we will
talk about two of our guests until we have completed the whole
list. This month we are speaking about John Kennedy and Steven
Yakamoto, our first two guests on the radio show.
Our first guest was John Kennedy of John Kennedy
Enterprises, Inc. who is the Creator of Whale Magic. He is in the
process of creating a wonderful, positive television series for
children. I just love his slogan, "Whale Magic Is In The Air,
The Royal Critters Are Everywhere!
You can read all about his work in our 01 March
Passport 2000 Vol.2, #3 Newsletter. Please do read it. He is a
wonderful Being of Light. I am so proud of him for recognizing and
filling the need for positive television for children. If more of
our children watched positive, happy shows, I am certain that the
shootings in the schools and negative events would lessen and in
time even disappear.
I am so pleased to be a part of John Kennedy’s
Whale Magic Project. I am so excited that another of my
affirmations has manifested. I was doing an affirmation before I
met John Kennedy in Rose Marcus’ store, Aquarius Rising, that I
would write a Children’s Book, teaching children the power of
Affirmations at a young age. When I met John and he thought he
could use some of my affirmations for children, I was absolutely
delighted and excited.
I am so pleased and honoured to be involved in
doing a set of Whale Magic 3-D Trading Cards, and the story
development of affirmations for the pilot and each of the episodes
in the Royal Critters, Whale Magic Television Series.
To join the enthusiast ‘pod" of Whale Magic
investors contact:
Tipperary Films,
P.O. Box 333,
Wrightsville Beach, NC
28480 US
Miami Beach Office
Phone Number (305) 668-7499
e-mail: www.royalcitters.com
or info@royalcritters.com
or JKCEO@AOL.COM
To get in touch with Elizabeth H.B. Arnold e-mail
her at: bawireless@yahoo.com
Telephone Number: U.S. (910) 452-4521 or her cell
phone at (9l0) 612-1258
Elizabeth H.B. Arnold is a truly lovely person.
She is a freelance writer and native of the U.S. East Coast. Read
her interesting article in our March Passport 2000 Newsletter, ‘Riding
on a Wave... It’s a Whale Crusade."
Should you have any suggestions, ideas or comments
on the Whale Magic project, please do contact either John Kennedy
or Elizabeth (Beth) Arnold at the above e-mail addresses and
telephone numbers. They welcome your calls and interest.
Steve Yakamoto
We also interviewed Steve Yakamoto, who is the
author of Men are Like Fish. He was a very interesting guest and I
loved his ideas. Steve likened affirmations to the
"bait" he refers to in his book. He sees affirmations as
a tool for creating the desired relationship and catching and
keeping the "big one." He spoke of "beginner’s
luck", likening this to the view through a child’s eyes,
"with a fresh, optimistic outlook." He spoke of the
"fishing rod" or self-confidence - the "fishing
line" and "picking up the slack" - the
"hook" to secure that special man or woman - the
"fishing holes" of knowing what one wants and targeting
those particular places, the "nibbles", the
"landing", where Steve says, "The Keeper Is
Love". His closing thoughts were that, "there are no
real excuses for missing out on love, except for the illusions of
fear and self-doubt... go out and make love happen."
Thank you Steve, for your most informative
interaction.
Interviewed by Sandi I.M. Capobianco and Anne
Marie Evers
Steve can be reached at:Web-Site: http://www.menarelikefish.com
E-mail address is:. menarelikefish@mindspring.com
His book can be ordered using the following
toll-free telephone number: 1-800-431-1579
Publisher’s Note
We exchanged books and he has been using some of
the information in my book to broaden his outlook and I am using
some of the information in his book to add to my writings.
The response of the listeners has been
overwhelming. Please sit down and e-mail us or drop us a note or
phone and let us know your feelings on this Radio session and
whether or not you feel it would be beneficial to do another
series in the fall.
We welcome all your comments, ideas and
suggestions
See Author
Information:
Actual Interviews conducted by Anne Marie Evers
When you are searching for the perfect, lasting,
loving marriage or relationship, you are choosing the person you
wish to live with the rest of your life. It is a very important
decision. I interviewed the following people to give you an
insight as to what ordinary people expect in their spouses.
Interview yourself and write your interview down on paper so you
can re-read it later. Ask yourself, "What would attract me to
a certain person and what are the most important ingredients of a
marriage or relationship? Ask yourself to describe how you feel
about the subject of faithfulness. When you interview yourself,
you will discover your real concerns, need, wants and desires.
Good Luck!
I have always wondered what it would be like to be
an inquiring reporter. So I donned my reporter hat and hit the
streets of Vancouver and surrounding area to talk to the average
person.
I asked three questions:
-
What attracted you to your spouse, mate or
lover?
-
What do you feel is the most important part or
ingredient of your marriage or
relationship?
-
What are your feeling and views on
faithfulness on the part of the people involved?
We ask you our dear readers to join in and let us
know your comments and remarks. Here are the first three
interviews in our series.
Please email Anne
Marie your comments, ideas and suggestions about these three
interviews.
I interviewed a selection of people of different
and varied age groups and occupations. The results are as follows:
Number One:
Kimberly Age 16-Student
She said her boyfriend had to be hot looking and
have great buns. He should be polite to her and should keep dates
on time. He should be attentive to her and not flit with other
girls. He needs to be responsible and not kiss and tell. She said
he must be faithful to her.
What Do You Think of This Teenager’s Remarks?
Please email Comments Anne
Marie Evers
Number Two:
Debbie Age 27- Artist (Mother)
What first attracted Debbie to her mate Ken was
his politeness and manners. He always held the door open for her,
pulled out her chair and was very attentive. He held hands in
public and treated her with love. He was not ashamed to show his
emotions. He never criticised, nagged or condemned her. She said
the most important things in a marriage or relationship are being
loved and respected. What really surprised Debbie was that Ken was
either unable or refused to stand up to this parents and defend
her.
Debbie’s marriage broke up because Ken’s
mother Sadie spread untrue, mean, nasty rumours about her. Both of
Ken’s parents talked down to her telling her she was not good
enough for their son and that she was an unfit mother for their
two children. Debbie divorced Ken and is now a single mom with two
teenagers. "I spend most of my spare time now with my
children, she says. They are my life." While Debbie feels
faithfulness is an absolute essential for a happy marriage. She
also stresses that moral support of the partner is a close
runner-up. She says Ken and she would have made it and would be
still together if the in-laws had not interfered or Ken had taken
a stand for her. She also blames Ken for not standing up for her
to his parents.
Do You Think That Debbie’s Marriage Could Have
Survived If She Had Taken A Different Approach With The In-laws?
Yes ____ No ____ Please email us your comments to Anne
Marie.
Number Three:
Marjori Age 54-Business Lady
She said her husband, Henry was soft spoken, neat
and tidy even in his work clothes. She first saw him at the place
of her employment when he was working in the renovation area of
the building. Even in work clothes he seemed so all together. When
he spoke, he was so soft spoken and genuine. She says the most
important ingredient in their marriage is communication. It is
everything and the very root of the relationship or marriage. If
you do not have communication, she says, you do not have anything.
She added that communication is the secret to faithfulness.
What Do You Think of Direct, Good Communication In
A Marriage Or Relationship?
Please email Anne
Marie your comments.
Bev was the wife of local RCMP Officer Bradley.
She felt that she was not appreciated by Bradley. He did work long
hours and then spent time going to local schools and giving talks
about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, having unprotected sex, etc.
Bev was having an affair with Jason who was a
businessman in town. When Bradley went to work, she would put
their three children ages 8, 10 & 11 to bed, and ask her
sister who lived in the other side of the duplex to look in on
them.
She had convinced her sister Sue that she needed
to spend some ‘adult time’ with her lady friends.
She would meet Jason in a designated, secluded
spot and they would make love. She lived for those moments and
Jason was now occupying a great deal of her time and thoughts.
One evening when they were engaged in making love,
which was especially passionate for both Bev and Jason, they did
not hear the footsteps of someone approaching the Van. The loud
banging on the door of the vehicle brought them both abruptly back
to their senses.
The blaring light of the huge flashlight was
unrelentess. It shone on their naked bodies in the darkness. They
could not see the person’s face, but they both knew it was a
Police Officer.
He cleared his throat and said in a very loud,
unfriendly voice, "Move On." Both Jason and Bev
scrambled to put on their clothes and as Bev looked out the
window, she saw the tail lights of an RCMP car speeding down the
road. They hastily said their good byes and Bev got into her car
and rushed home.
She was in a pickle. Who was that officer? I could
not be Bradley as he was teaching a course at the school tonight.
Of course whoever it was recognized her as they lived in a
relatively small town. Would he tell Bradley? Would he stoop to
blackmailing her? Should she confess to Bradley before he was told
by one of his colleagues? How would this news affect the children?
She tried to keep things as normal as possible.
She really did love Bradley. If he would just pay more attention
to her and the kids -- take her out once in awhile. She sighed as
a tear slipped down her cheek. If only he told her that he needed
her and that she was still pretty.
A month went by and Bev was becoming a nervous
wreck. She had not spoken to Jason since that night. She searched
Bradley’s face every day for signs of anger, disappointment or
knowing. She thought about the chain of events and was shocked to
discover that during the last month she had hardly given Jason a
thought.
Did this mean she really did love her husband,
Bradley?
One day when the kids in school and Bev and
Bradley were alone, he casually said, "Honey I think this is
the lipstick you’ve been looking for." He handed it to her
with his usual lopsided grin.
She froze. She could not move. The lump in her
throat was so big it was choking her. He found the lipstick that
she dropped outside the van that fateful night. "Why...
Why... it was you," she cried. "You saw us and changed
your voice when you said "Move on." His eyes bored into
hers as he asked almost in a whisper. "Do you love him?"
Bev was crying uncontrollably by this time. "No, no,"
she said, "I don't. I love you, but you act like you don’t
care and at times you act as though I am not even here....
invisible you know? When was the last time you said, "I love
you or I need you, you are pretty or took me out to dinner? I have
feelings too, you know. I am not just a robot or the children’s
mother. I am a real, live woman with desire and healthy sex urges
coursing through my veins. I am so very sorry Bradley. I know
adultery or cheating is not the answer and I don’t really
deserve you and our marriage, but please, please, in the name of
God," she begged with tears streaming down her cheeks,
"Don’t take my children."
Bradley stared at her for what seemed like hours.
Then he spoke choosing his words carefully and deliberately. He
said, "Beverley you are the mother of my children. I am
shocked, devastated, betrayed and hurt at what I saw. I do know I
have been very busy with my work and school programs and have been
feeling guilty about being so selfish. If Don have not called in
sick I would not have been on that patrol that night. I certainly
do not condone, like or agree with what you did and feel it is
definitely beneath you and our marriage. It is a terrible blow to
me, our love and our marriage, but I do love you and the children
-- you are my life. I will work at forgiving you, changing and
doing my part, but we both have to go for counseling
immediately."
Bradley continued, "I cannot stand the
thought of life without you Bev. I love you more than anything in
the whole world."
She flew into his arms and that kiss could have
ignited the biggest fire in the state of Oregon.
Let Us Learn from Bev and Bradley’s Devastating
Experience
Firstly Bev felt unimportant, unattractive and
unloved. Secondly, she did nothing about her feelings. She did not
speak to Bradley about her unhappiness. Thirdly, she allowed some
compliments or flattery of another man turn her head.
Bev’s Own Story
I felt unattractive, fat, ugly and over the hill.
I watched Bradley slip into his uniform every day ... thinking to
myself, how lucky he was. He still had the trim, athletic body he
had when I first met him. He had somewhere to go. He had a job to
do and he was important.
I thought he was thinking what a loser I was. How
uninteresting and overweight I had become. All I could talk about
was the kid’s latest achievements. I was dull and boring, even
to myself. When Jason looked at me, really looked at me and said,
"Why Bev you are one of the prettiest girls around, you are
so alive and radiant" the ice that had been forming around my
heart began to melt. Every time I saw him at the store, he would
look at me with such adoration in his eyes. He noticed what I wore
and commented on my outfits. I found myself dressing up more and
more just to go to the store where he worked. I guess I was ripe
for the picking she sighed.
Now that Bradley knows and still loves me and
wants our marriage to work, I will do everything possible to make
it successful and bring back the spark that first attracted us.
Bradley’s Story
Bev and I got married very young and she got
pregnant right off the bat, then again and again. I was not ready
for the responsibility of a wife and three children. I was just
starting my career as an RCMP Officer. This was my boyhood dream
"I’ve always loved Bev and always will, he said.
"There is something magical about her that I cannot explain.
No other girl even comes close."
I know I was neglecting her and the kids and
pushing myself to get that promotion . At times I did feel guilty,
but Bev never complained. She never seemed to mind all the
overtime. Wow, when I actually saw her and Jason making love, my
heart almost exploded. I have never experienced a feeling of such
rage as I did at that moment. I wanted to take my gun and shoot
them both and then myself. Then I thought of our innocent children
who would be without both their mother and father, I got hold of
my self.
I cleared my throat and with all the courage I
could muster up shouted, "Move On".
I went and talked to my priest and told him the
whole story, not leaving out my contributing part it. When I
finished. tears were glistening in both our eyes. He spoke of
forgiveness and the consequences of holding grudges. As he prayed
with me I realized I did not want to live without Bev and the kids
and that we could work it out. That is if she wanted to as well. I
just had to know if she had fallen in love with Jason and if she
had I would step aside, no matter how hard it would be.
Now that I know that Bev still loves me and we are
going to get counseling putting it all behind us and building on a
stronger, firmer, solid foundation of marriage, I know it will
work!
Bev’s Advice
I asked Bev if she had any advice for other women
walking her shoes or about to walk in them. "I sure do"
she said, "I would tell them to talk, talk and talk out
problems. If I had talked to Bradley about my feelings, none of
this pain would have happened. I feel as if I have destroyed a
beautiful part of our marriage (complete trust) and I am not sure
if it can ever totally be repaired.
Please don’t do it, no matter how attractive,
sexy, smart or sophisticated the other person makes you feel. I
know now that I did not love, respect and approve of myself,
because if I had, the need for outside approval would not have
been there. Yes, of course I feel very guilty, ashamed, remorseful
and embarrassed. I also feel sad for any interruption or anxiety
that I caused Jason. He was the innocent party here....... well
not quite. He did know that I was married and he still pursued me.
He must have known there would be serious consequences.
I am aware more so now than ever that we are all
governed by the Laws of the Universe. My situation worked within
the Law of Cause and Effect. The cause was I decided and actually
did have an affair outside my marriage. The result of that cause
was the effect -- Bradley found out and I had to face my
infidelity. I came very close to losing my marriage and perhaps
even my children.
Was it worth the few stolen moments, the
compliments, the fleeting, superficial feeling of self-worth or
the adoring looks?
No, no a thousand times no! Just take my word on
that one!!
by Our Columnist Caroline, Psychic and Counselor
One of the most profound statements I have heard is from an actor
who was interviewed on TV. He was asked; "How do you like
being married?" He said: "Ninety-five percent of the
time I think its wonderful. The other five percent of the time I
do not like it. The Ninety-five percent makes it worthwhile. The
odds are very good I would say."
I was married for sixteen years and then divorced for twenty-five
years. That was a choice I made. Then I decided to chance a second
marriage. I have been happily married for seven years. I'll take
marriage over being single any day.
Being single for so long, I have had many long-term female
friendships and still have. However, there is no one like a
husband or wife. They are always there for you through the ups and
downs. When you are ill, a husband or wife gives you support and
are there caring for you night and day. This is something a friend
is unable to do.
Having a spouse you always have a companion to travel with,
someone to play with, to listen to you when you are excited about
something or when you are wailing the blues. In addition, studies
say married people live longer.
Then there is the five-percent of the time your partner doesn't
exactly behave the way you might wish. So this is when a friend is
able to help you. They make great listeners when you want to
complain about him or her and to share only things that the
opposite sex can relate to. We must always remind ourselves that
men and women are different. The book; "Men are from Mars and
Women are from Venus" describes the differences very well.
Communication is one of the prime elements in a marriage. In the
dictionary,
communication means an exchange of information and ideas. This
does not mean just you talking, try listening. Listening is an art
that we can all learn. It is very easy to do. Do not interrupt
while the other person is talking. After they have finished repeat
what you think you heard to clarify it. It pays to go for help if
real communication is lacking. How else can you know your
partner's needs?
Another ingredient that is important is to respect one another.
Show as much respect to your mate as you do your friends because
your mate is your best friend. You would not scream at or belittle
your best friend. Then why not treat your mate similarly?
Sometimes we treat a stranger better than our mate.
Let us not forget sharing. It seems everyone likes to share until
it comes to money. Before we got married, my husband and I
discussed about whether or not we wanted a pre-nuptial agreement
or to pool our money together. He is a lawyer and he said; From my
experience, a pre-nuptial agreement is a recipe for failure."
We have friends who are married that have separate bank accounts
and separate investments. When they go out to dinner, we hear a
familiar phrase: "It's your turn to pay." It seems like
they are keeping score. When a man and woman separate their income
they are only living together -- this is not a marriage. There is
an exception to people in their 70's and 80's as sometimes they
just get married for companionship and want to leave an
inheritance for their children. Sharing is an integral part of
marriage. It brings us intimately closer together.
Trust is another vital ingredient in marriage. If it is not there,
so much damage can occur and the marriage deteriorates. This
deterioration has happened in some marriages where one partner has
broken the trust. It is a long road back to get this trust again,
but it can be done. One must consider all the years together and
all the ups and downs you went through. It takes forgiveness, lots
of hard work, perseverance and time to regain the trust again. One
has to analyze very carefully before leaving a marriage as you
have made vows of commitment for life. If you can work it out
through this trying time, the reward will be worth it. Going
through a crisis in a marriage can bring two people even closer
together and they realize what they might have lost. My friend who
has been married for 50 years says both partners have to work at
it all the time for the rest of their lives.
Every day we should put laughter in our marriage and our lives.
Laughter can make big problems seem small and not so important.
The medical gurus have proven that laughter is a great medicine
for healing. To play together is to stay together.
Marriage still seems to be what everyone wants. I am a psychic
reader and the main question my clients ask is; "Am I going
to get married and when?"
There is nothing more fulfilling than a happy marriage. Marriage
may not be for everyone but even with all the complexities of
marriage, it is still the one for me and I wish the same happiness
for you.
HAPPY MEMORIES
Written by CAROLINE
PSYCHIC &
COUNSELOR
Columnist Caroline Ryker is a dear friend and
colleague of mine. You may contact her directly by e-mailing: Carolineryker@hotmail.com
All rights reserved
Publisher’s Note
It is a shame that Bev did not read Caroline Ryker’s
article before she decided to violate her marriage vows.
Good luck to both Bev and Bradley and you can put
your marriage back on track and perhaps it will even be stronger.
One thing for sure is that Bradley will be conscious of not
working so much overtime and ignoring Bev and the kids.
I feel they both have learned a great lesson, and
as Caroline says, the couple that play together stay together.
Happy Playing!
Dear Caroline:
I broke up with my boyfriend five years ago. Just
last month I ran into him again at a Restaurant. We exchanged
phone numbers and made a date to get together. We did and had a
fabulous time. We ended up in bed and now he will not return my
telephone calls. I heard from the grapevine that he is relocating
to another state and I am devastated. What should I do? I found
out that I still had feelings for him and I was the one who ended
the relationship five years ago. Paula
Dear Paula
We often want what we can not have. Unfortunately,
you went to bed with your former boyfriend. Men like a challenge
as well as the chase. By going to bed with him you didn't make it
challenging. You did not take time to find out if the relationship
had any substance. Is this really a man you want to have a
relationship with when he cannot be honest and tell you up front
how he feels and where you stand? He knew he was relocating and
didn't tell you.
This relationship is done, so do not beat yourself
over the head over it. I would suggest that you quit phoning him.
Obviously he does not want to continue the relationship. Learn
from the experience. Next time, test a relationship with time
before going to bed with your date. That way you will not get hurt
and will know if he is the right one for you. Going to bed with
a man before establishing a committed relationship can confuse
your thinking and your emotions. To find the perfect mate for you,
do an affirmation. See Anne Marie's book on affirmations page 80
on how to find the perfect mate.
Happy
Hunting!!!
Caroline
Psychic&Counselor
Dear Caroline:
My problem is unique. I have nothing to complain
about. I have been married for seven years to a wonderful man. We
have two children, the luxurious home, two cars and all the money
I would ever want.
What I am struggling with is that just recently
every time my husband and I are intimate, I fantasize. I
substitute him for another man. Sometimes it is a male movie star
and other times it is a good looking man that I have met at the
grocery, store, garage, etc. Is this normal or do I need help? He
is beginning to notice that things are different than they were
several months ago. I really do love my husband and my life style.
How can I change my thinking and put my husband mentally and
emotionally into the picture as the man I am making love with?
Please answer. I am losing sleep over this one.
P.S. My girlfriends are jealous of my good-looking
husband and wealthy lifestyle. Judy
Dear Judy:
After seven years of marriage, it is not uncommon
to feel that some of the romance has gone out of the marriage. You
have heard of the seven-year itch. It is not wrong to fantasize
about a movie star, as this is only a fantasy. However, it is
dangerous to fantasize about men at the grocery store, or the
garage, as you can act upon it. You have the ability to change
your thinking. Rekindle the romance in your own relationship.
Romance your husband. Make a date with him.
Surprise him in a negligee with a candlelight dinner. Go away for
a weekend without the children. Treat him like you did before you
were married and the marriage will flourish. There are books in
the library or at your favorite bookstore on this subject. I am
not surprised your girlfriends are jealous. Be careful what you
say to these girlfriends, as they might not have your best
interest at heart. I would suggest you find friends who are in the
same lifestyle. It sounds like you have too much time on your
hands. Get involved in a project you would like to learn or do.
Most importantly put your energy into making your husband the love
of your life and put his face and body into your fantasies. Anne
Marie's book on affirmations will help you do an affirmation to
help your sex life and marriage. Good Luck!
Caroline
Psychic & Counselor
Caroline is a Psychic Counselor and accomplished
Reader of the Tarot and the Cards of life. She is also an
Affirmation Teacher and vigorously promotes my book on
Affirmations, Your Passport to Happiness. She has used the
affirmations directly from the book in numerous situations in her
life with fantastic result. She has over thirty years experience
and many loyal, devoted clients. Keep up the good work Caroline!
She can be reached directly at e-mail: Carolineryker@hotmail.com
"I, (your name) deserve and now receive all
my blessings. I know the seeds that I have planted in my
Affirmation Garden are about to be harvested. I anticipate the
harvest with faith and expectancy. I know that God is in control.
I enjoy the best of life and desire that for all others. I am
happy, fulfilled, healthy and at peace. Every morning when I arise
I give thanks to my Creator for another day in which to live,
breathe, enjoy and be present here on planet earth. I am present
in the now. I am happy and I spread this happiness to all I meet
and to anyone that touches my life. I am at peace to the good of
all parties concerned. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you."
Results of our free monthly draw for a Free
Electronic Version of The Fourth edition of Book Affirmations Your
Passport to Happiness!
We are pleased to announce that Robyn Barnard from
South Africa is the winner of the Free Electronic Book for the
month of June 2000. Congratulations Robyn, Happy reading! (Please
note, that due to technical problems last month, we were not able
to send out Robyn Barnard's copy, as such we have made Robyn our
June 2000 winner).
To be eligible for this "Free Monthly
Draw" please join our Passport
2000 Monthly Newsletter.
Once a monthly we put all the names into a hat and
draw the winner! You could be the next lucky winner! |
