October 99 Newsletter
Contents:
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Editorial
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In Search of a
Loving, Lasting Relationship?
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Affirmation for
October
Editorial
At the request of numerous readers and friends and with the
urging of my son David, we are delighted to present you with the
first copy of our on-line newsletter, ‘Passport 2000+’
As our first newsletter comes out in October, the month to
give thanks, I feel it is important to stop, reflect on the good
things and blessings in our lives and to give thanks.
We invite your participation and welcome your comments. It is
our aim to provide you, our readers, with important, valuable
information to uplift, inspire and encourage you. We also
congratulate you on your successes. We believe in the total
concept of healing the mind, body and spirit.
All articles and information appearing in this newsletter are
copyrighted by the respective author.
Please e-mail all articles, letters and comments to: annmarie@portal.ca
All articles are subject to editing by the Publisher. We
invite you to come aboard and enjoy the journey.
In
Search of a Loving, Lasting Relationship?
By Anne Marie Evers
Relationships are a part of everyday life.
Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you
will ever have. Learn to love, respect, accept and approve of
yourself, just the way you are. Then you can move on to creating
happy, fulfilled relationships of all types. You have a
relationship with life, money, career, loved ones, all others
and everything. It is wise to create long, lasting happy healthy
relationship in life. You choose -- you know the difference
between a right relationship and a wrong one. Learn to let go of
relationships that are no longer working for you.
"It is the nineties, going into the year
2000 so why am I having so much trouble finding that special
soul-mate, mate, partner, lover or spouse," you may ask?
"Love is so natural, right, good and basic. Why is it so
difficult to find?" These questions are asked frequently.
The answer is you need a blueprint -- a simple How To
Instruction Guide to attract and keep that special person.
The Relationship Puzzle
Selecting relationships are like putting the
pieces of a puzzle together. All relationships require work,
trust, loving kindness and consideration. How much energy and
loving kindness are you prepared to put into your relationship
finding? How Important is your puzzle? Put your very own
relationship puzzle together piece by wonderful piece today.
Problems are only pieces of the larger puzzle. You may need to
find the solution to each part of the puzzle. Even the smallest
piece is important and if it is missing the puzzle is
incomplete. Work with the whole puzzle at times. Sometimes
problem solving the whole puzzle involves working with other
people. It is important to keep in mind that you must never
force a person to commit to you. It has to be his or her
decision. Adopt a win/win attitude. Get agreement from each
piece of the puzzle before putting it in the main part of the
puzzle.
When involved in the Relationship Puzzle you
are always searching for the right pieces. Carefully examine
each one. Perhaps it contains a lesson you need to learn. Can
you see that a loving Relationship Puzzle cannot contain seeds
of dishonesty, mistrust and betrayal? Even if the piece looks to
you as if it will fit perfectly, when you place it next to the
other piece, you discover that it does not. If this happens, it
is time to take a look at yourself and discover exactly what
your desires are. If it is a little piece, (a little anger or
resentment) and you think you can ignore it or leave it out,
think again as your puzzle will never be complete without all
the pieces. As you pick up each piece, gaze at it intently and
ask if there are any lessons or information that you need to
know to proceed. If the answer is yes, ask for the answer and
then sit quietly and listen.
In the case of the fear of commitment piece
of the Relationship Puzzle, you may have the puzzle shaping up
just great, but when it comes time to place that piece, you
cannot get it to fit. Then it is time to go within and do some
soul searching. It may be time to forgive, dissolve or release
that block from a previous relationship? Ask yourself what is it
that you really desire. You may need to curb your possessive
ways or streak of jealousy. It could be that the person you are
trying so desperately to fit into the puzzle may not be the
right person at all!
The Perfect Mate Puzzle
You may choose to use particular pieces of
the puzzle that you apply to your perspective mate. Mark the
pieces, "Healthy, happy, independent, kind, loving,
balanced, loving, generous, faithful, kind, caring, financially
independent, nice appearance and more. When you put all the
pieces together you may discover that the person you are doing
it for is the right person for you, but needs a few minor
adjustments. Ask yourself how much are you willing to
compromise? Then do a Relationship Puzzle for yourself and find
out what kind of mate you are. You may also discover some values
or desirable qualities missing. It is very important to forgive.
Being in a relationship with self or others
is a responsibility. You are the scriptwriter, producer and
director of your show. All relationships take time and work to
evolve into loving, lasting ones. A great relationship enhances
your life, but it does in no way complete it. We all know
individuals who repeat disastrous relationships. It would appear
that they have confused love for what they feel is a familiar
experience. The known experience gives pleasure only because it
feels normal and comfortable. It keeps them in the comfort of a
known, abusive, unhappy relationship. They soon forget how
painful these relationships can be as they feel they are safe
harbours to them. These negative situations and relationships
can be dangerous. These people actually fear the unknown
experience of a right relationship and are afraid to take a step
out of your comfort zone into the right direction.
Never allow fear to control your life. Learn
to experience negative situations so clearly that they cannot
repeat themselves. Are you attracting the wrong people into your
life. Do you feel you have to live up to the demands of others?
Why? Your attainment of personal security, joy and happiness
have absolutely nothing to do with others’ expectations of
you. Your right thinking and positive thoughts have everything
to do with your happiness. Relationships do not solve problems.
Now you have two people working on them. You are never able to
work out someone else’s problems -- nor can anyone work out
your problems.
Set the guidelines at the beginning of any
relationship. Define your wants and needs. Know the difference
between them. A needy love is a false love. To be needy is a
crutch and to need is a tool. Everyone has basic needs for food,
clothing, shelter and living necessities. There is a
difference between a need and a want. A need in a
relationship is when you have a gap in your own life and you
need someone to fill it. There may be a specific need such as
loneliness. A needy person is different from a person who has
desires and wants, goals and expectations. To want is to desire.
Do you know the difference between a need and a want? You
may have a fear of living alone. Instead of working on improving
and healing yourself, you search for a person to fill that need
and to make you feel whole.
A want in a relationship is when you are a
whole person and desire to enhance or add to your wholeness. You
may wish to share your whole person with another. It then
becomes a caring, sharing situation where each individual has
and gives 100%.
The Relationship Train
The Relationship Train is always on track, on
time and dependable. To attract that perfect, lasting, loving
relationship, you have to be in the market place. Boarding the
Relationship Train is the process of placing yourself in the
market place. You are never turned away. All are welcomed
equally. The Train of Relationships is like a passenger train
with many cars. Everyone boards and
disembarks at will. You are free to move throughout the train.
The conductor is your subconscious mind or higher self that
guides and protects you along the way.
The Engine is the place where
all relationships begin. You are in a relationship with yourself
at birth. You are always in some form of relationship, whether
negative or positive. The physical part of all relationships is
created in the engine. It is fueled by the emotions of desire
and passion. The engine is the first car.
The Sleeping Car is the
comfort zone car. Your porters are fear and phobias and they are
at your beck and call. They provide you with clean bedding,
(excuses) comfortable surroundings and keep you in your comfort
zone. Your comfortable surrounding is the process of blaming
others for your misfortunes and never taking responsibility for
their own actions and lives. This could also be the sulking or
silent area where one partner goes to sulk. This is their secret
room, car or hiding spot in the mind.
The Dining Room Car is a place
to talk, communicate and resolve issues. This is a fully
functioning car that leads to growth, happiness, long, lasting,
loving relationships and marriage. Stay here a long as you
desire. Some people find loving, happy relationships or
marriages and stay in this car for their entire lifetimes.
The Club Car is for
socializing and having fun. This car is to enjoy, relax, meet
other singles and communicate on a fun level. This is the
fun-loving car. There are no strings attached and no
commitments. It could be called "The Hang Loose Car."
The Baggage Car is where all
personal baggage is placed. You can leave it there to be
disposed of, or you may take it with you. The choice is yours.
It may be the time to get rid of any unwanted, negative baggage.
When leaving this car, be careful not to pick up another
person’s baggage. You may find it heavier or more troublesome
than your own.
The Caboose is the place of
ending relationships. People who want to end relationships enter
and visit this car. This is the place of true beginnings and
endings.
If your partner desires and chooses to get
off your Relationship Train, allow him or her to do so. Release
them with loving kindness to their highest good. When one
relationship is ended and the grieving process is complete, you
are ready for another relationship opportunity to appear. This
can apply to any friendship or relationship.
There are various boarding stations (choices)
all along the way. People board these cars at will and they stay
as long as they wish. They can get off whenever they choose.
This is a train of free choice. Are you on the Relationship
Train? What car will you stop at and for how long? Every day
everyone is deciding which train to board, then which car to
retreat to in every relationship. At any time you can visit the
other cars or feel free to get off that particular Relationship
Train and board another. This process is ongoing and you will
always be boarding, staying or getting off the train. This
wonderful Relationship Train is always on track, on time and
dependable. It delivers everyone, who chooses to board it, to
the destination of choice.
Choose your particular train and retreat to
the car of your choosing. Make good, solid, informed decisions.
Great, loving, lasting relationships add to your happiness. True
happiness does not come pre-packaged. It comes from within and
needs to be practiced daily until it becomes a habit.
To learn more about how to use Affirmations to
create loving, lasting Relationships, order the Book,
Affirmations, Your Passport to Happiness from
Author, Anne
Marie Evers - (604) 988-9907
http://www.netadssell.com/affirmations
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